My Dumbest Home Makeover Idea Ever: Removing a Textured Wall Part One

Let me start off by saying that if you are considering applying a thick, heavy texture to your walls, think long and hard about it. Take into consideration that if you ever want to paint it, it takes up paint like you wouldn't believe. Our bedroom should have used about a gallon, gallon and a half of paint, but because of the texture we used almost 5 gallons. A job that should have taken a couple of days took weeks.

Not that bad from a distance but it is like sandpaper up close

Keep in mind texture adsorbs light making your room dark and dreary

Also think long and hard about how much and how long you will love it. If you have even the smallest shadow of a doubt in the back of your mind that you will one day not love it, just stop right there. Also think about how long you plan to stay in the house and how it will affect the resell of your house. And please, please, think about the poor woman who comes along and buys your house and breaks down in tears when trying to remove the horrid thing all by herself.

If I had to do it over, I would have never painted it. But it was the first thing I did when we bought our house 5 years ago. Over time, the pretty brown color has developed chips from the simplest of things, such as pushing a laundry basket up against it too hard or knocking into it with the vacuum cleaner attachments. If something that simple knocks off bumps it can't be that hard to remove, right? [Insert biggest sarcastic laugh ever here]

I started by chipping off just a little in a corner of the bedroom behind the door just to see what was under there. Since our house was previously owned by heavy smoker and I remember the wall underneath being white, I figured they had to have put this texture on not too long before they sold the house. This meant there should have been smooth drywall under there. I had no idea what condition it was in, but it should be under there.

I felt like I was in an episode of Orange is the New Black, quietly hacking away at this paint and plaster without my husband finding out what I was doing . I wasn't sure how he would react when he found out what dumb idea I had gotten into my head now. So I sat tucked down in the corner trying not to make any noise and finding that it wasn't that bad. Scrape  a little, find some smooth wall under there, chip off a little more. It was only slow because I couldn't make noise and I was being super careful, right? [Insert second biggest sarcastic laugh here]

So, after showing my husband what I could do and asking his thoughts on it, I went full steam ahead. And this was about the biggest mistake since the Titanic went the same way. He swears now that he knew it wouldn't work but that he knew better than to try to stop me. Probably so, but it still gives me ground to ask him every day "why didn't you stop me?!?!?" And make him shoulder some of the blame.

I think I read every article on the best was to cover up texture. Mudding, scraping, sanding, installing new drywall, you name it I thought about it. Here's where I need to say that if you can afford to do it and it doesn't bother you, please hire someone to do this for you. My daddy is a construction worker and my mom has been a frugalista since long before it was cool, so I'm not paying someone to do anything I can potentially do myself. No matter how much plaster and drywall dust I have to suck into my lungs. But if you've got the money, at least look into your options for professional removal or covering. Plus, if there's any doubt in your mind there might be lead paint under there, have it tested or consult a professional.

My first attempt was to try what was basically like removing wallpaper or a popcorn ceiling. Spray with water, let soak in, scrape. Didn't work. Add fabric softener to the water. Didn't work. Add vinegar to the mix. Didn't work. When I say it didn't work, it doesn't mean it didn't work at all, it just didn't work effectively. I was staring to soak the drywall that I had exposed and the carpet too. How did I soak the carpet if I was spraying it on the wall, you ask? Because water and latex paint don't mix. Water rolls right off that crap like it was a duck's back. Yeah, that was a quick way to ruin the bedroom and turn my fairly inexpensive transformation into a really expensive pro job. Someone once told me it is full price if I have to do all the work myself and double the cost if I have to go back over your mistakes. I'm pretty sure my goal was to avoid this so I moved on.

My next train of thought led me to how to dissolve the latex paint. Really the plaster isn't that hard at all to get through once you get down to it, but it's getting there that's the problem. One was chemical strippers. This was going to be costly and bad. We were still sleeping in there and my husband is extremely sensitive to stuff like this, so that was out. I read somewhere that you could put oil on it. I had a giant jar of coconut oil so I slathered sections of the wall up like they were sunbathing in the '70's. Keep in mind that on some sections of this wall I had oil, water, vinegar, and fabric softener. There was an interesting smell in my bedroom to say the least. I cut my hand I don't know how many times because I would forget and grab the putty knife on the side and it would slip, taking a chunk out of my finger but not that paint.

I kept reading more articles and found a heat gun method. I didn't have one but I had a blow dryer I found in the dumpster that would work. My husband thought he had a heat gun, but being my impatient self I went ahead with the blow dryer method. I must say this method worked the best. Lightly score the paint, heat it up, scrape away. With this method I got a 3 foot section done in a day instead of a two foot. Problem with this is you have to hold the dryer with one hand and scrape with the other. I am not nearly strong enough to get much done like that. My husband didn't like the idea of me playing with a heat gun by myself, which is fair enough. While I try my best to keep from setting the house on fire, there's a good chance I would have had to break out the fire extinguisher at least once if he had ever found his heat gun.

By this point I've had multiple panic attacks and many sleepless nights over this stupid wall. I realize I am a complete idiot for trying to take this on. I am convinced by now an atomic bomb wouldn't budge this paint and plaster. I was almost to the point of supporting the stupid company that makes this nightmare of a product , eating my diy pride, giving up and going to buy a couple of cans of spray on texture and a gallon of paint to cover up all 10 feet of wall I had cleared. You won wall, you won.

But then my daddy stepped in. Funny how dads sometimes wait to let you learn your lesson before saying I told you so and bailing you out anyways. He too knows that no matter how many times he tells me not to do something I'm going to try to do it anyways. I thought I had outgrown my tendency to go against what he tells me, but I guess I really haven't. Most life lessons and any other advice he gives I usually listen to carefully, but not this time. I guess that's why he waited until the stupid thing broke me before he stepped in. Bet I don't give him a chance to say I told you so again for a good while.

If you've made it this far through this, I hope I have got you to take a step back from a project like this and really, really, really think about what you are doing whether it be putting texture on your wall or taking it off. If you do decide to remove it, just know that it is messy, hard work. If you have a big room, be prepared for it to take months unless you have a ton if time to devote all at once. But don't worry, I'll be here doing it all the wrong ways so maybe you can skip a few steps.

Next time I will share with you mistakes to avoid when sanding a wall. This one will probably have even more mistakes than this post. I'm pretty sure I'll be paying for these mistakes from now til Christmas! And that's really fitting since it looks like it has snowed in my bedroom. But somewhere under the tan colored snow is a smooth white wall just waiting for me to patch, prime, and paint.