The Real Rules of Living With Pit Bulls

The Real Rules of Living With a Pit Bull

1.) The first and last bite of every meal will be mine. From every person eating.

Mmmm, Corn!

2.) All the pillows and blankets are mine. I will skillfully arrange them to my liking, not yours. Don't bother folding them, I don't like them that way.

All Comfy Now

3.) Your favorite spot on the couch is really mine. Thanks for warming it up for me though.

There's Some Room on the Floor For You

4.) Your king size bed is mine. If you can manage to fit in a space I'm not taking up, great. I like to cuddle, but I will push you out of the bed if you take up too much room. Don't go messing up my blankets and pillows when you go sleep on the couch though, it took a long time for me to get it like that.

I Didn't Like the Pillows On My Bed

5.) All the dirt in the yard is mine. I will dig holes in it the way I want and then I will drag as much of it as possible onto your freshly mopped floors. I don't like the floor being clean, I need some of that dirt in the house with me.

We Need More Dirt for the House

6.) All the guests that come in the house are mine. They aren't here to see you, they are here to rub my belly and have me sit in their lap. Quit being rude and offer my guests a drink. Better yet, offer them dinner so I get extra food.

I'm Waiting on That Drink

7.) All of mom's attention is mine. All of dad's attention is mine. This leave no attention for mom and dad to share with each other. If that begins to happen I will gladly step in and put a stop to it.

Sorry Mom, No Room For You

8.) That hand of yours? It is mine. When I want my head rubbed I will demand it be on me by taking my nose and forcefully ramming it into your hand. It doesn't matter if you have a cup of coffee in it, you have plenty more in the kitchen. Hey while you're at it, can you grab me some chips?

Just Hold My Hand

9.) That face of yours? That's mine. I will lick your face when you come home, when you are sad, when you are happy, and at 2am if I feel the need to do so. Sometimes I just need reassurance that I will be able to wake you up for breakfast. Oh, you're up and going for a drink? Grab me some cookies while you're in there, ok?

Got Your Face

10.) This heart of mine? It's yours. I will love you with all of it, I will do what ever it is that you ask of me, no matter how good or how bad. Please don't abuse this love. Only ask me to do good things. I don't want to be bad, I want to love you and everyone else. Please guide me in the right direction and show me the love and kindness I deserve. That's all I really want of out of our life together.

Just Love Me